Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
