So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
