I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
