my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
