i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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