Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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