Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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