Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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