the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
