FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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