mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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