not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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