I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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