Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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