you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
