I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
