Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Drake has all the answers
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
