my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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