What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
