I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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