Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
