Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
