would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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