The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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