I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
