I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
