i permit you to call me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
