just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
