So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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