Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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