Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
