you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
