yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
