I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
