Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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