Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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