Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
