saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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