I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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