piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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