I must be too annoying 4 u.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
