So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
