You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
