Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
