She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
