there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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