p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
