im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
