you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
