i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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